Home > 8 Signs that someone is breadcrumbing you in a relationship
The phrase "breadcrumbing" refers to the process of occasionally displaying signs of romantic connection in a person in order to keep their interest without necessarily intending to pursue the relationship further.
People who really are breadcrumbed receive occasional "bits" of attention that are likely to keep them engaged with the other person because of the possibility of someday receiving up to an entire meal, even though it is unlikely to do so.
Breadcrumbing is typically a symptom of emotional incompetence. They want to know that you will be there for them if and when they need you, and while responding to them may boost their ego, they are unlikely to pursue a connection with you in the long run.
Such erratic behaviour may leave you craving stronger connection but ultimately dissatisfied. Realizing the red flags and knowing how it feels to also be breadcrumbed can assist you in not offering that person any of your attention or energy. The eight basic symptoms of breadcrumbing are listed below:
You frequently feel puzzled by the bond. A good rule of thumb to follow when trying to figure out if the person you're dating is breadcrumbing you is that if they like you, it will be obvious, and if they don't, you will probably feel unsure or confused. A certain amount of vulnerability is required to express how you feel about somebody, and emotionally unavailable people frequently struggle with this.
You typically rely on another person to interpret this person's text and actions and help you decide how to react. We can all need outside opinions from people we trust from time to time, but if you find yourself spending a lot of time and effort trying to play detective to determine whether this person likes you, realize that their behavior may already give you the answer.
They might ditch you and break the pre-arranged commitments. You might find yourself keeping them waiting for a call or text to see if you have plans. They may start to tense up when you mention your future intentions. We all have busy lives, but most of the time if someone likes you and is emotionally available to you, they will let you know by their words and actions.
They rarely communicate with you consistently. When you hear from them again is always uncertain. The partnership is consequently on their terms. Even when they do contact you, it rarely results in anything. Trying to keep things on their terms keeps you at a distance, which might give the emotionally distant person a false sense of security.
You avoid expressing your emotions or trying to define the connection. You might worry that if you express your feelings or make an effort to define the relationship, you will alienate them. Any relationship that breaks down because you express your feelings for the other person was already doomed to fail and probably wouldn't have lasted.
They give you confusing messages. They might start out close before developing distant. They may say, "I like you and see a possible future with you, but I'm still not sure if I can promise to anything at the moment," or "I'm not sure if I can commit to you at the moment because I'm busy with work, school, etc., but I'd like to keep spending time with you." No matter how they are conveyed, such messages ultimately indicate that the person is not wanting to commit anything or developing a closer relationship.
The vast majority of people overlook other parts of these messages and only pay attention to the part that says the other person likes them or wants to spend time with them, believing that with enough time and affection the other person will want to commit. As a result, they waste valuable time that they could have used to get to know someone else who is emotionally available.
Getting closer to them may feel inappropriate. A person who uses breadcrumbs to keep you engaged usually has barriers between them and you that prevent closeness from growing deeper (and they might not even be aware of these barriers). This explains why an emotionally unavailable person could shut down, become distant, or grow cold just as you start to get close to them or try to tell them how you feel.
Your encounters cause you to feel both enthusiastic and drained at times. When someone is breadcrumbing you, they communicate seldom; when you do hear from them, it may feel thrilling and wonderful, but it's typically an indication that you're on edge because this person is playing on your anxieties and you don't feel emotionally safe.
Disclaimer: This article is solely intended for informational reasons. This article is not meant to replace the advice, diagnosis, or treatment of a professional or psychologist. Always ask your mental health expert for advice or that of another licensed healthcare professional if you have any concerns about your health.
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